Edward Gajdel

Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal

edwardgajdel — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 22:40:42 +0000

When I received the call from my MP’s office attempting to inform me that I have been awarded the 60th Anniversary Queens Jubilee Medal I unleashed a barrage of questions upon the messenger to ensure this was not some elaborate marketing ploy designed to sell me personalized Royal Doulton mouse pads. Though he tried to assure me it wasn’t I immediately called Djanka to alert her to this creative scheme. Now any one who knows Djanka will attest that her bullshit filter is finely tuned and she could confirm my suspicions immediately however what she confirmed was that our dear, long time friend Hamlin Grange had nominated me and this was not a hoax.

At this time I felt myself embarking on a hot air balloon ride through a strata of emotions. Distant karmic propensities like the nagging doubt of being worthy enough or the false pride of being special were the dark clouds I was descending through. The worst of them was the thought of standing on a stage with individuals whose measure of achievement could easily obscure mine.

It wasn’t until the completion of the official ceremony during the evening of our celebration at home with friends and family that I felt a beautiful and powerful appreciation wash over me. As I watched the medal being passed from hand to hand, almost in slow motion, I could see the threads of energy dancing around tying all of us together in a network of light. This medal seemed to posses an energetic footprint that was beyond us extending outward and connecting us to the intention set out by Queen Elizabeth II. To honour the spirit of service to others is indeed a noble intention and one that was not lost on us despite the joyous banter that filled our home. Distant karmic propensities were silenced and for the first time I felt free of false modesty and crippling doubt and I could see this award for what it was, a beautiful entanglement of family, friends and community near and far. This elegant piece of brass is now my reminder that I have been woven into the fabric of this incredible country and though it is I that gets to wear it, it is you that makes it so meaningful for me.

Portrait by Hana Gartner, photoshop tomfoolery by me

My Digital Revelation

Edward Gajdel — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 21:47:05 +0000

The term, digital revolution, for me, conjures up thoughts of a great paradigm shift, something that has created profound change in our lives and in many respects this seems to be true. Certainly in the way we communicate. It has seemingly resized the vastness of our planet, it may have even sped up time itself. The evidence of change seems unarguable. In all this supposed certainty I can’t seem to keep myself from asking what has really changed? Has our global consciousness, in some way, been lifted by the digital revolution? Are we a better world for all this change, this progress? What was it that we were revolting against anyway? Is this a question even worth pondering? Maybe change is not the thing to focus on, maybe the focus should be on surrender. Yes surrender, to Creations boundless march.

The digital revolution to many of my generation who were practicing photography in the analogue way was like a relentless tsunami of change and many of us were unable to weather the storm. For me it required the relocation to higher ground. I retreated to a lengthy process of deconstruction which was not always pleasant however it did bring me to a new appreciation of my chosen profession. In surrender. or more accurately, the ongoing process of surrendering, I have come to find incredible possibilities in the depth and power of this medium. It is not photography itself that has been imbued with great powers, its potential has always been there, it’s how I came to perceive what I do within its fluid walls. Recontextualisation is the locus of surrender. I began to find and make room for new possibilities by giving up attachment to previously held beliefs. Although I was not aware of it at the time, the Universe had provided for me a most extraordinary guide to bring me to this realization. It was the great Richard Gorman that showed me how creativity is ever present and waiting to bestow its gifts upon us.

I became friends with Richard in the latter part of his physical existence, Christopher Cutts, our mutual friend and gallerist had brought him by my studio one day and our connection was immediate. His presence radiated with humility, this was a man who knew something about life. Richard asked if he could commission me to make a portrait of him and I accepted immediately. This was not only an opportunity to create a great portrait of a Canadian master, it was an invitation to be around wisdom and experience. We set out to make this portrait on location in Richard’s studio, with my Eight by Ten Arca Swiss and a box of Tri-X. It was a lovely afternoon which eventually ended up at Bar Italia, like most of my meetings with Richard after that. Having edited the shoot a few days later I realized that I didn’t get the shot I was looking for and I needed to continue my hunt for this man’s greatness. I invited Richard to my studio this time for a completely different approach. This time we would capture digitally against a black void. Though I didn’t see it at the time this was very much a manifestation of my dualistic conundrum about my approach to making portraits. The studio session proved easy, graceful, Richard simply gazed through the lens and into the observers psyche, I loved the gentle intensity of his gaze.

Here is where it all got very interesting. I was at a crossroads in my thinking about what this portrait needed to say and what form should that conversation have. So I invited Richard into my conundrum, I brought him to the studio to study the two takes and to weigh in on the process. When he first glanced at the two test prints inadvertently pinned to my viewing wall, he said …”that’s genius!” I was confused by his reaction because I wasn’t seeing the genius in these very rough, torn, test-prints, however Richard wasn’t looking at the prints. He was looking at the entire wall and how these raw forms were playing with each other, he saw genius in how the colour print sat on top of the black & white, how they created such a powerful relationship with each other. He made me realize that I had stopped looking, that I had too many associations, expectations around what this portrait should be and I wasn’t allowing it to become what it could be. What an idea! Surrendering to creativity, making room for it in my mind. Richard taught me to treat creativity as a Universal Power that can be accessed any time that one chooses to clear away the distractions. The final portrait became an amalgam of both shoots. It welcomed perceived mistakes, like a scan that went sideways but produced the beautiful streaks, which was reminiscent of Richard’s use of the squeegee as a brush. It drew on the ability to mirror things, to build a multilayered portrait in photoshop and make a beautiful large print as the final form that would speak to people from the gallery wall. The synchronicity that flowed through this portrait was like nothing I had ever experienced. There is an ease in surrendering ones thinkingness and allowing grace to use the body and mind. This is what Richard Gorman taught me.

Mesmerized by Magic

Edward Gajdel — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:09:57 +0000

Though distant it is still a powerful memory for me when I think back to my first encounter with photography. The moment came at the tender age of six as a young boy waking up to the surroundings of life in a small town in post-war Poland. My elder sister, as part of her high-school studies, was engaged in a photography course which required her to create a darkroom in our home. She covered all the windows in the middle of the day as if to deliberately attract my curiosity. I stayed to watch this unusual ritual. With the dinning table full of trays filled with smelly liquids, barely visible by the dim amber light, my sister projected a strangely inverted image from this very cool table-top robot. As she took the blank piece of paper from the clutches of the robot and slipped it gingerly into the first tray I stood transfixed watching this strange ghostlike projection magically arrive. Out of nothingness, people I recognized were looking back at me from this miraculous piece of paper. It was unknown to me at the time that this moment would shape the rest of my life. I was completely spellbound by the experience however it would take another 11 years and a move across the ocean before I came to know this magic again. As a teenager in Canada I too became engaged in a photography program in school but this time my curiosity was supported by access to the tools of this supernatural craft. Having found the elixir of my life I drank it all in, I studied it, I practiced every chance I had and so declared that this would be my path for life.

The Other Woman

Edward Gajdel — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 19:50:42 +0000

Imagine saying to your bride-to-be that you could not possibly be monogamous as you are already in a relationship and that she would have to share you with the other woman. I can tell you for certain that you would definitely have her undivided attention. This is how I began to explain, to my life partner Djanka, my relationship with photography and thankfully as it turned out she welcomed the other woman and enabled her growth immeasurably. I was entranced from childhood with the magic of photography and at seventeen she became my full time mistress. Though in recent times she has been a wily and unpredictable beast to tame we continue to embrace her potential to bring joy, insights, understanding, and abundance into our lives. She continues to morph between an adventurous and passionate lover to an unyielding task master, determined to push me through a paradigm shift. In the beginning she preyed on naive ambition and now she is determined to be my teacher.